I just went back and read all of my old posts and some comments. Ah the memories.... Well painful and happy ones. Some stuff wasnt put on here, but a lot of it was. I realized while reading it how much of a little bitch i was. Now...well i've matured and i actually know what love is. God i cannot believe i thought i loved Tay and the mother-fucking Fairy Fag.  Tay and i don't talk anymore. Haven't really spoke with him since...6th grade-ish? Wow that's sad. I talk to Derek at least now. Tyler...well he's been a big asshole lately and holding a grudge. He asked me back out again. Personally i thought it would work out but well it didnt. Though i do have to say my thanks to him...in a sense. I'm so happy wiht Joe. We have a lot in common. And he's cute. [Step up from Tyler if you ask me] My parents like him and some of my friends like him, other are just blah i guess. Actually it seems like some of them are scared of him in a sense. He's 6'1" so that mite add to it. I'm 5'2" and he's 6'1" it's kinda funny. Like if i wanna kiss him we best not be standing. Lawl. He's not that tall. I mean. Really. Lawl. So like i'm gunna tell you a bit about him now. He's got Dark hair[he's planning on dying it black], he plays in the school band, he seems to be in trouble often, and he has a tatoo of the symbol like Garaa has but not on his forehead. [That would be weird yet awsome] It's on his arm. Today and yesterday he was wearing this fedora hat that's like white. I'm like OMG IT PWNS! when i see it now. Our one teacher we have for homeroom said Joe was looking big pimpin' or something and he's like nope. Sexy pimpin'. Lawl. Ahh. but that's what i like about him, He and i are so alike. He's weird, i'm weird. Heh heh. And he's so sweet! You should see the text messages he sends me. At school we would pass notes but now we pass a note book so the notes are all together and we can refer to things like in previous notes. Also, we wont lose the notes as easily in a notebook. So this year i have achieved meh goal so far to make new friends. I'm friends with ----- Tim Roche(junior?)[he's weird and i talk to him at lunch], Shaun(sophomore)[dating my friend rachel], Ryan(frosh)[friends again lately. yay.], Luke(sophomore)[met him in TV Studio], Haley(frosh)[she's pretty kewl and emo], Taylor P.(frosh)[in some classes. Rly nice] and some other ppl. But i still mostly hang out with Camel, Ben, Fairy Boy, Brad, Conrad(but not for long), Andrew, Chris, the works really. Conrad is a sore subject to talk about with me right now. Just because i'm dating a guy old than me by 1 year and 2 grades, he started calling me a s-l-u-t, which i'm not. And he started a rumor that i was PREGNANT. That bitch crossed the line then. Joe and i have been calling him Twinkletoes ever since htis one time cuz we thought it would be fun. I'm really on a roll tonight. I'm not done either! So i do movies now. Mainly funny videos for YouTube. Most aren't really funny. Just things i think of with my friends that i do movies about. www.youtube.com/ke5801 That's my channel. Check out my vids sometime. I've been trying to do more but i've only gotten like 6 vids up now from my big 2 vids i had. Our internet here was really slow but now it's pretty fast so i can post videos easier. So after typing all that-I'm kinda tired. But not really. Lawl. Well i think im going to play some rune scape or listen to the hottest band on the planet. MADINA LAKE!!!!!   Nathan and Matt=teh smexyness! Lawl. They are awsome. I hope to go with Parek to a concert maybe over the summer sometime to see them. They are "groupies". They know the band and talk to them i guess after the shows. I think it's pretty kewl. Cept Parke gets hurt at the concerts quite often. Like crowd-surfing and stuff. Yeah it pwns. Well NOW i think i mtie go. Just had to add that last part about Madina Lake, cuz the are awsome. So i hopew someone comments or someone even reads this. So comment back or something for me to talk about for my next post? Idk. Commet somehting for me. Ash <3 <3 [River People Forever!!] PS- My heart beats for you Joe!! ---posted lyrics for Madina Lake's "One Last Kiss"--- MADINA LAKE LYRICS
"One Last Kiss"
She looked at me, her eyes were watering
That's when I knew that this was about to end
Frozen in that moment, time was standing still
And I could feel my heart sinking, fragile
Goodbye, she said
I went and found somebody new
But I gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, my love, you're giving me up?
You walked away and I could hardly breathe
I turned around and fell down to my knees
I'm shivering as the truth is settling
Her tomorrow has nothing to do with you
I knew someday that you'd find someone else's lips
But before you go
Could you just leave me one last kiss?
Cause I gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, my love, you're giving me up?
And I can't lie still
When there's someone else beside you
And I can't lie still
Cause I'm all alone this time
Cause I'm all alone this time
I'm all alone this time
I remember when you were falling
And I was there just holding onto you
And I'll remember all those
Scars I wear that you carved in me
I gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, my love is giving me up.
And I can't lie still
When there's someone else beside you
And I can't lie still
Cause I'm all alone this time
Cause I'm all alone this time
I'm all alone this time
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